Pregnancy, unemployment and money

Believe it or not, I have always been the professional. The one earning her own money, never waiting for someone to "take care" of me. One of my friends (housewife and mother of two beautiful and healthy boys) used to tell me: 

"This job won't bring you the joys a baby would. It only brings you the monthly pay."

Yes, it was true. I understood it best when the company's management decided to downsize and let me go. What ugly and meaningless words: let me go. I had successful projects and good numbers in negotiations. Yes, I took pride in doing my job. And what? Did any of these matter at the end of the day? I can't say they did. Actually these only got me fired faster.

So now, almost half a year later, here I am: jobless and pregnant. Depending 100% on my husband. 

I find this incredibly difficult. I'm not used to explaining my expenses. I don't spend too much nor do I spend recklessly. But still I hate when I have to explain. It breaks my heart and my spirit. 

So this is what I plan on doing: I have some projects and I earn some money, I also have some money saved. But I'd rather keep it for "after the birth".And "until the birth" I will work harder and take on more projects. This is my November 19th's Resolution! Why should we only have New Year's Resolutions?! I will go with this November 19th! It sounds good and looks good. And you know why? Well, it's because this baby is truly the most important project in my life so far. No work project or employer will ever be more important than this. Plus, a mother is unique, all the other numbers in our lives are flexible, except this. So my responsibility is huge, but so is the payback. I can't wait to meet my baby! I have until May and then I will see her, hold her, feed her, play with her and all the bad will go away. There is only room for good in my life, so I am working on getting things done and having it all ready in May 2015.