Happy New Year to all the Mommies in the world!

I wish you a Happy New Year!
With joy and health!
With time together and true friends!
With happy and healthy families!
With love and peace of mind!
I wish you to reach all your goals in this wonderful year that is coming!
And may you be happy with what you have and what you get!

New Year's Resolutions

I know, making new year's resolutions is somewhat annoying and old, but I love making these resolutions (and, let's be honest, mostly breaking them sometime over the year).
I know it's disturbing every year when I look back on my notes and I see I've not even checked half of them. But every year, between Christmas and New Year's Eve, I feel the urge to make my list. The list of stuff I feel I want to/should do next year. Usually, on my list there's the habitual resolutions: the weight I want to lose the following year, the classes I want to take, the things I want to learn and the books I want to read.
But now, these seem not so important. Because next year, around the month of May, I will meet my daughter. When I think on my list, I can only imagine things related to her: carrying her in the best way possible, giving birth, having her healthy and keeping her happy, being able to meet her needs and so many others... I feel that this year my resolutions will be not about myself. And I think that, from now on, my resolutions will be mostly about my daughter. About her needs and expectations.
So this year, or at least half of it, I can still try to make resolutions about myself. Also, I can spoil myself with presents and I will make some of my wishes come true. I don't really know what's coming, but I have the feeling that all will change. For the best, I know that!
So, come changes, I am ready for you!

There is one resolution that weighs more than the rest of them. 

Merry Christmas!

I wish you all Merry Christmas and may all your wishes come true on this magical day!

Christmas films on TV

I have just seen a Christmas film on TV. The one where Sarah Jessica Parker goes to meet Dermot Mulroney's family. His mother is Diane Keaton and Sarah's sister is Claire Danes.
The thing is that I had seen this film many times before. Every year, around Christmas, they show on TV this type of films, and also this particular one. I understand why they show these films, being the season and all. But what I don't understand is the pull I feel to watch these films over and over again. If they weren't on TV, I wouldn't go and rent them out or buy the DVD just to watch it once a year. Also, I must confess, I don't think this is one of the best Christmas films. There are many others I would have preferred to watch today. But I didn't change the channel, I kept watching until the film was over.
And sometimes my eyes fill with tears, sometimes I laugh, although I know the story, I know the ending, but still... I let myself get involved in the film and I allow myself to be taken away by the story. I want this. I want to be part of these perfect and beautiful stories. They always finish joyfully and everybody is happy at the end. Everybody finds that "someone", they find balance and happiness. I want that. At least for these 2 hours, I want to believe. I want it to be jolly and merry and happy! And I can have it, can't I?
Plus that sometimes this good mood lasts longer than the film, sometimes it lasts all day long and follows me around, leaving a thin layer of fairy dust everywhere I go. But is this "Christmasy" mood truly influenced by the film? I can't make my mind for sure...
Anyway, I feel I must write here that one of my favorite Christmas films is "It's a Wonderful Life".
What is yours?

Is Christmas spirit enhanced by thematic TV films?

Pregnancy and Cooking TV shows

I don't normally think about food. Not even now, that I am pregnant.
But, whenever I happen to watch TV, I usually stop for a film somewhere. Still, when there is no interesting movie or if they have started half an hour ago, I go zapping through the channels looking for... Something. And sometimes this Something is a cooking show. What is it with cooking shows that arouse my interest like no other shows? I have never found appealing the "Big Brother" type of shows or "Find me a wife" or anything similar. And even less interesting I find a show concentrated on the local actual "celebrities" who are willing to show on TV all their issues and problems. But a cooking show!
First reaction is curiosity: "let's see what is it that they are trying now"
Next is suspicion: "is it OK to mix those ingredients? Hmm... It doesn't seem tasty nor appealing"
And eventually amazement: "Wow! It looks soooo good! Wow! The texture seems perfect! Wow! Look at them tasting and enjoying!"
Followed by the obvious: " I should try this"
And then the also obvious: " Wait, what were the ingredients?"
So I have only once managed to locate online the recipe for the tasty looking food I had just seen on TV. And it turned out perfect. It was American Pancakes, someone's recipe. But it was worth looking and locating. I followed that recipe two or three times and now, that I'm writing about it, I am thinking about making them again.
But! My main question remains: what is it with these cooking TV shows that makes them almost irresistible?

Tasty and fluffy! Yummy!

Pregnancy and a Job Offer

Although pregnant, I have received today a job offer.
It's for a small local producer. I wouldn't have thought of them as "small" until they started complaining about their profit. So they were happy with the turnover, but totally unhappy with their profit. I have a few suggestions about selling for the sake of selling, but not making important profit. Still, I was there for another position, not giving sales tips.
Anyway, as a consequence of their lamentations, they offered me a salary that offended me. Yes, I am supposed to work from home. Yes, I can arrange my time as I see fit as long as I get the job done with excellence. But does this mean I don't work? I couldn't sleep tonight because of these thoughts and I am a zombie now.
What is it with employers that makes them forget they are dealing with humans? They expect hard work and long hours, they expect flawless projects and a significant return on investment. But the investment is a quarter from the minimum wage! So the results should be measured the same way. Unfortunately for me, I am the hard working type. I don't do a lousy job. Never.
But who is to say that, after my trial period is finished and after I show them what type of employee I am, they will afford me? What if their lamentations about the profit were real, not just an excuse for the low salary they offered?
What should I do? Should I start this game called low-payed-job or should I just stay put and take better care of myself and my baby?

Pregnant woman plus work plus long hours equals MoneyMoneyMoney!!!

Pregnancy and reading

While posting my previous post, I realized I want to write a little about my reading habits.
I am usually reading a book and then interrupting it so that I could read another, but eventually I return to the first one to finish it, too.
I have this somehow chaotic routine with the books. Sometimes I am afraid that maybe I don't respect the book and the author enough and that is why I go reading another before finishing the one I have already started reading. I feel it's not fair. And still I keep doing it.
Anyway, my reading goes through (hopefully) all the possibilities, authors, styles and continents. I have read one Bulgakov, some Kafka, not enough Dostoievski, a lot of Gracia Marquez, a little Pamuk and many others since I have always loved reading! In school it was my secret power. I found it so rewarding that I preferred reading to many other activities.
Now I am reading Andrew Solomon - The Noonday Demon and Nicolae Steinhardt - The Happiness Diary. I started the first one and I found myself in it. It's about depression and dealing with it. I had never thought of myself as depressed, but I have some of the signs he describes in the book. On the other hand, I find The Happiness Diary inspiring since it's about finding balance and even happiness while spending time in prison (because of political reasons). So these two books are somehow connected and I feel that the Diary completes the Demon in a more spiritual way. So I paused reading the Demon so that I read the Diary :) You see? Now, as I describe it, I think it's not fair to read a second book while I haven't finished the first one... Hmm... Maybe I will change this! Read one book at a time!
Wait, I must confess that I have also read the Twilight series and the 50 shades books! These are my most shameful reads but I must confess to having read them!

My Pregnancy and my Husband's Xmas Party

My husband has this evening his company's Xmas party. What is it with this party that makes me feel uneasy?
Bottom line: What is it with company parties? What's their point?
Should I be glad that at least they don't have team buildings that last through the entire weekend? Why is it that companies feel the need to take their employees away from their families and put them together in a place with booze and loud music? I know, the employees should socialize!
Does anyone ever "socialize" at these parties? I think good colleagues remain good colleagues and people you don't normally speak to, remain just that: people you don't speak to.
Actually, these are just the pointless lamentations of a housewife spending the evening alone, worrying that her husband might get too drunk and maybe find one of his colleagues irresistible...
To tell the whole truth, I had for years company parties and even team buildings. But it was me. I know exactly what I want and that is him. Does he remember me? Does he still want me? Am I what he wants?
Sometimes I feel so strong and I think I know the answer to it all... But not this evening. This evening, I have my moment of weakness... My moment of surrender. Surrendering to disturbing thoughts that I don't normally indulge.
Yes! I should turn off the TV and go read something! I know what! 50 shades... :) That will work like a charm, changing my trail of thoughts. I will sleep like a baby in no time!
Why is it that facile romances help me fall asleep faster than anything? It must be the easy and effortless text. It must be why other books that I read never work like this, they make me wonder and capture my interest. I could stay up all night reading them... On the other hand, I couldn't stay up two hours reading 50 shades, which makes it perfect for this evening!

Pregnancy and Sudoku

I am crazy about Sudoku! One of my friends showed me what it was about a while ago and I found it challenging and interesting. So it became a part of my routine. Sometimes I solved one or a few per day and other times I solved a puzzle per week or per month. But it has ever since been present in my life.

As Wikipedia describes it, Sudoku "originally called Number Place, is a logic-based, combinatorial number-placement puzzle. The objective is to fill a 9×9 grid with digits so that each column, each row, and each of the nine 3×3 sub-grids that compose the grid (also called "boxes", "blocks", "regions", or "sub-squares") contains all of the digits from 1 to 9."
Some say it keeps your brain working and it helps you focus. In my case, it was true: it helped me a lot to concentrate easier and learn to "see" solutions even in my day-to-day job and life. So I can say Sudoku trained me into seeing solutions faster and evaluating opportunities. Plus it is a challenge and I love a good challenge!

But lately, since pregnant, I have started to find it harder to solve as fast and as difficult puzzles as I used to. I think it must be another "side effect" of pregnancy. Just as learning and attending classes became more challenging. Or concentrating. Or paying attention. I have noticed, as I wrote in one of my earlier posts, that as pregnancy evolves I find myself drawn to my bed in an inexplicable way.
So, to keep it simple and honest, I find it easier to sleep than do anything else. Forget eating, socializing, working out, reading, seeing films... I'd rather sleep. But I know that would be damaging to my mental state and so I keep myself afloat with all of the above. I start in the evening with the plan for the following day: visiting my parents, shopping, cooking, going to gym, working and anything that needs my attention the next day. Plus a lot of sleep and one Sudoku grid per day!

Hunting for the good mood

I love my country and my home town.
But this year, for the first time ever, we had more than 30 sunless days (and counting). Gloomy and moody weather that makes all of us feel strange and depressed.
These are some of my suggestions (based on my routine) for tricking the weather and making your days beautiful and sunny on the inside:

1. Take advantage of the season and start decorating your home.
Usually, we start decorating the house and the Christmas tree just a few days before the 25th. But not this year! I haven't used all the supplies, since that would be a little strange, but I used some colorful lights here and there, just changing the look of the room, making it more pleasurable and cozy.

2. Go out! Get out of the house in the rainy, moody weather! You will love being indoors when you return.
I go out a few times per day, once to visit my parents, then to do the shopping (I particularly love doing the groceries), I go to gym (but that is a different topic) and I usually take advantage of any reason to go outside.

3. Do things that you love: go to the movies, go to a nice Christmas Carols concert, go to a restaurant where you love the food and the mood etc.

4. Learn something new.
I find it extremely uplifting when I have learned something new. From cooking a new kind of soup or desert to learning new phrases in English or knowing more about my pregnancy, learning keeps me happy, motivated and smiling.

5. Invite people over.
That can be tricky, I know. But the thing is you should only invite people close to your heart, since this depressing weather may turn out to be not so bad when compared to annoying company.

6. Go to gym!
I saved the best for last. Gym is the best thing for lifting spirits and putting a smile on your face. I don't do difficult things nor do I try to break records while pregnant, but going to gym is the best way to trick the weather or even the thoughts in my head. I know, there are thousands articles online about going to gym as antidepressant, so I won't go on bubbling about this. But please, bear this in mind: even if you look out the window and then think it's better to stay on the couch with the nutella jar and see a nice film, even when you are not 100% in the mood for gym, go! Go to gym and see for yourself the blessing. Go to yoga, go swimming, running, cycling or working on your core muscles. Do whatever you like the most, but go and do it! Don't stay in, don't fear the weather or the moodiness of others. Life is better and the weather gets sunnier after a work out. Of course, it's all in your head and muscles. But that is all the matters, isn't it?

Now, that I think about it, there must be at least a dozen other suggestions for tricking the weather and changing the mood. Please feel free to share your own.

Have a beautiful sunny day!

Pregnancy and travelling

It's been a long time since I was a passenger. I am usually the driver. About two weeks ago I had to reconsider my ability to travel. First of all, my car broke down before arriving to my destination. So I was a passenger in someone else's car. In the back seat. It was horrible, although then driver was really good, I have never been so sick! I don't normally have this kind of problem. Could it be the pregnancy?
Next day I had to repeat the experience, but I asked for the front seat and it turned out to be much more acceptable.
Apparently there is also a problem while travelling by train, but only if the seat is positioned with the back to the direction of movement.
Am I truly turning into this moody and difficult person? The people around me seem happy to accept and accommodate my every whim, but it is too difficult for me to understand this new woman I turn into.