Congratulations, you are pregnant!

Yes, this is how all motherhood stories must start.
What better way to receive the best news of your life? You are on your back in the gynecologist's office, with your belly covered in sticky cold goo.
She's pointing at a round darker area on the monitor: "That is your baby."
Why don't I feel something special? I only feel eagerness and fear. Apparently being a mother is about adapting so fast to changes you never imagined. As not being able to smoke or to drink alcohol. Not even coffee. I can't stand the smell of fresh made coffee. I used to love that! Better than my smiling husband saying good morning, baby. Better than anything... My morning coffee... Is gone now. Together with my breakfast and the food I liked to eat. These days I eat fruit and vegetables mostly, driving everybody around me insane with my losing weight. But only the thought of food makes my insides tremble and the blood drain from my face. In these few weeks everything has changed for me.
I used to be a professional. I spent most of my adult life working hard and trying to earn more than the average. I had my job, my bank loan and my lifestyle. None of that seems important any more. It's something I had before this life, before my real life.
I lost my job. For the first time in my life, I was let go. But the irony is that this job was the one I worked hardest for. I was living alone, far from my family and friends, all I had was my job. And I performed. I was happy with the outcome of every project, I had never been so proud of my achievements. And then... The manager's girlfriend didn't like me. It hit me like a bullet. Why does that even matter? I am doing my job perfectly, I am a good and reliable employee and colleague, I work from 7 in the morning until 8 or 9 in the evening. But a company where the girlfriend's opinion is more important than professional achievements is not good enough for me. So I left. With my head held high, knowing I did nothing wrong, knowing most of my colleagues love and respect me. And I returned home. To my husband, parents and friends, in my hometown. I had a few months of "vacation". I really needed it. And now? Now I have the biggest and most important project of my life: a baby.
Sometimes I feel so alone. Nobody to relate to. I feel weird with my food problems and my shifting emotions. And I think this is only the beginning.